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Influence people

James Harvey Robinson\'s enlightening book The Mind in the Making.

Benjamin Franklin\'s autobiography -one of the most fascinating life stories ever written

"If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people\'s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career."

I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.\"

Fable about the sun and the wind:

They quarreled about which was the stronger, and the wind said, \"I\'ll prove I am. See the old man down there with a coat? I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can.\"

So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him.

Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man. Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Don\'t criticize, condemn or complain.

  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.

  • Arouse in the other person an eager want. (make them want what you want them to do)

Six Ways To Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

  2. Smile.

  3. Remember that a person\'s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

  5. Talk in terms of the other person\'s interests.

  6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely (no flattery)

How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

  • A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

  • Show respect for the other person\'s opinions. Never say, \"You\'re wrong.\"

    • Men must be taught as if you taught them not and things unknown proposed as things forgot.

    • You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.

    • If a person makes a statement that you think is wrong - yes, even that you know is wrong - isn\'t it better to begin by saying: \"Well, now, look, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let\'s examine the facts.\"

  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

  • Begin in a friendly way. (a drop of honey attracts more flies than a gallon of gal)

  • Get the other person saying \"yes, yes\" immediately. (find things you agree on)

  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

  • Try honestly to see things from the other person\'s point of view.

  • Be sympathetic with the other person\'s ideas and desires.

  • Appeal to the nobler motives.

  • Dramatize your ideas. (It works in the movies and in adds)

  • Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation. (don't end it with but... use and...)

  • Call attention to people\'s mistakes indirectly.

  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. (Is there anything you could think of to improve the situation?)

  • Let the other person save face.

  • Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

  • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

  • Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:

  • Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver.

  • Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.

  • Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.

  • Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is that the other person really wants.

  • Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.

  • Match those benefits to the other person\'s wants.

  • When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.